...Or lack thereof.
It's that time of the year again where finals are in session and the pressures to find a job and higher than ever. Except this time it is different, for me it is not just a summer job I'm looking for, it is a career... or at least an opening to one. I'm finishing school soon and my motivation should be through the roof, however, it's not. Maybe it's the seasons changing that has my mood in a twist? But it is always this time of year where the thought of having to most likely work a customer service job gives me anxiety. I'm not sure why but mostly before every shift I get anxiety and not to be dramatic but also want to cry a lot of the times before I have to go for a shift.
There are people who are amazing at customer service and other who are not. ( I went over this in a previous blog post) and I am not the sort of person who isn't bad at it, I just really don't like working retail. But for a person like me, it is really my only option at this point in time. But I digress the topic of this post is a lack of inspiration.
Today I went on a walk, without my headphones, and for those of you who know me, it's shocking, I know. I always have music playing wherever I go, but the reason I didn't this time it was due to the fact that I'm pretty sure I have an ear infection so it hurts to put in ear buds.
ANYWAYS as I was walking I was trying to find or think of any inspiration for this blog, and my YouTube channel and I tried so hard to get lost in my own head but I just couldn't. I had zero concentration and I hated it. Daydreaming usually comes so naturally to me, (trust me, ask any of my past teachers) and today I had this need to be creative however I had no drive to pursue what I wanted. There was no spark as I was walking all I kept thinking about was
"what am I going to write about?"
"why can't I think of anything? I'm outside in nature why is there no inspiration?"
Then it hit me, I should write about not having anything to write about. It is silly I understand, but here you are still reading.
I have learned that it is okay to be stuck, but it gets to a point with myself that it is no longer okay to be stuck because I have been stuck for too long, and I am unsure how to unstick... Everyone says, "oh you just have to find your passion." Like it takes a few minutes f your time and is the easiest thing in the world to find. And I know those who do say that don't necessarily mean to say it like that but it can come across that way. Honestly, I do not know where I'm going with this but I am signing off here because ironically enough I've lost inspiration to write any more on the subject.
xoxo.
